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(Man, that’s a long time…kind of disheartening.) For the first 4 years, I just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship but I wanted/needed to have a connection, and my membership definitely filled that need.

I developed online friendships with some very good men over that time and those friendships kept me from being extremely lonely.

(this is scary) So HOW exactly does a person give up control to God? If he decides that I should fall in love and marry, he’d better make that man painfully (no, not painfully, please)…let me rephrase that…he’d better make that man joyfully and EXTREMELY apparent to me.

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I can’t imagine what, but then I don’t know the mind of God. ) Second, I need to ask God to let me know, in NO uncertain terms, exactly what it is he wants me to do.

If I give control to God, I need to be open to other possibilities. First, of course, I need to tell God that my life is now completely and utterly HIS to do with as he sees fit. I no longer trust myself so I really, really need for God to hit me over the head with his plans.

This morning I played hooky and went for a 6 mile hike with my oldest daughter.

We’re very spoiled in that we live in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains so great hikes abound right outside our door. The pictures in this post were taken by my daughter. I received a Declaration of Nullity (annulment) almost exactly 2 years ago. Yes…I started dating before I received an annulment.

I actually met only 4 men from there in person (I was very picky and cautious! I went on to have serious relationships with 2 of those men, both of which ultimately “failed” (the relationships, not the men :0)). Well, after this latest failed relationship, I have some thoughts about that.